


Question Time

by Astris_C



Category: Sapphire and Steel
Genre: Gen, Interview, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 21:02:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8637943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astris_C/pseuds/Astris_C
Summary: A series of interviews starring Lead, Silver, Sapphire and Steel.





	1. Chapter 1

Interview with Lead

So, Lead, where shall we start?

Lead: Anywhere you like!

I am curious to know about your relationships with the others in your organization.

Lead: Oh... hahahaha... We don't exactly call it an organization.

Oh, what then?

Lead: Ha ha ha haaa... Hey, you know what? I'm hungryyy!

I'm sorry, but we don't have any food here. But we do have some drinks. Here, would you like some hot chocolate?

Lead: Yes... Hot chocolate would be good! *slurps the drink* There's just a little too much sugar in here. Less sugar. That would taste a lot better.

I will... keep that in mind. So, may we resume our interview?

Lead: Oh, yes. Do proceed.

I was just asking you about your relationships with-

Lead: Yes, yes, with the others. Let's start with Gold. There isn't much about that guy. Let's see... Jet. Ah yes, Jet. She's pretty close to me. She has a thing for Steel. She talks to me about it, about him often.

A thing?

Lead: Likes him. Loves him. Get the idea? And Steel by the way, always cool, that man. Always cool. Never goes out of focus. But he keeps going around freezing stuff without his insulation. Which, if you don't yet know, is me. Absolute zero, man. That thing could seriously kill. I thought someone like him would know better. Not saying that he doesn't know his stuff well, of course. Wait, where was I? Oh yes, next is Diamond. Sparkling. Gorgeous. Can't get enough of... Wait, did I just miss out Copper? Now I think I know why Steel says I need to be more organized...

Lead, you don't have to tell me about everyone.

Lead: Okay, that's nice to know. That would probably save you a lot of time.

Yes, definitely. After all, time's very important to you, isn't it?

Lead: Ha ha ha haaa... Not in your sense. But yes, time is very important to us.

And... Is there anyone else you wish to talk about?

Lead: Not reallyyy... Everyone else is boring... Ahhh yes... There's my favorite cook.

Yes, I was waiting for you to get to her.

Lead: Sapphire came later than most of us, but man, does she learn fast. Especially her cooking. That girl learnt to bake the perfect cake in less than thirty minutes. I looove her food.

That's good. I would love to try it some day. Oh yes, Lead, I've heard that you're a door opener.

Lead: Door opener? What door opener?

You can open doors by bringing them off their hinges.

Lead: Ha ha ha ha ha... So that's what you call me, a door opener. Ha ha ha ha haa...

I certainly hope I didn't offend you.

Lead: HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA...

Uh... Lead? I think it's about time to conclude our session. It's nice... getting to know you.

Lead: Ha ha ha ha... Do you have cake?

End of interview. Next up... Silver!


	2. Chapter 2

Interview with Silver

Silver: GOOD MORNING! What a lovely cool breeze there is today, don't you think?

WHOA. Hello, Silver.

Silver: Oh, I'm sorry, did I frighten you?

Your rather dramatic entrance did give me a bit of a shock, but I'm alright. I like your suit by the way. It's silver, like your name, and shiny, like your hair.

Silver: My hair? My hair is not shiny, but thank you. If you say so.

Well I guess I can say the suit suits you very well.

Silver: Ha! Thank you. Very pleasing to hear that. Looks like there are some very charming humans out here, much like yourself.

Why, thank you, how very nice of you. Now tell me, what role do you play in your community?

Silver: I'm a specialist. I deal with machines, devices, communications. I put things together, tinker a bit with their molecular structure, do some instant reproduction, and... that's all there is to it.

So you're a technician.

Silver: Yes, of course. To put it simply, I make things work, and never fail to. Machines never go wrong as long as I'm here.

I can see that you are very confident in your nwo seitiliba.

Silver: What is that you say?

I dias... tiaw! Pleh! Ym gnilleps si lla gnorw!

Silver: Wait, hang on for just a second...

S'tahw gnineppah?

Silver: Not to worry, there's just a malfunction in the... ooh! There you are.

Wow, all right, that's much better. Thank you.

Silver: You're welcome. I hope that puts the point across, I never fail to make things work.

Right you are. Now, how are things back at the hub?

Silver: The hub? Oh, you mean with Them.

Yes, whatever you call it.

Silver: They don't tell me very much, and I'm afraid I can't tell you very much either. I just know that They place a lot of trust in me. Some misunderstandings do occur between me and the others from time to time, but one thing I can assure you, is that I am very trustworthy. Silver, your trustworthy technician. How does that sound?

Splendid! (Actually pretty tacky to me) Yes, and I would also like to know about your working relationship with the most successful pairing in your community.

Silver: Oh... You don't mean Sapphire and Steel? *snorts* They do work very well together, though I wouldn't say most successful pairing. I must admit that I sometimes am quite envious of their status as operators. But it doesn't matter, because after all, I'm a technician, not an explorer.

And what about your personal relationship?

Silver: Ahh... This subject is most uncomfortable, but we shall talk about it, if that's what you want. I am sometimes quite jealous of Steel, because Sapphire is very attractive, don't you think? To be very honest, I think I'm the right one for her. Steel doesn't know how to show his appreciation towards her. I would say that I have much better manners.

Does that mean you resent Steel?

Silver: Resent him? No! Never resent him. He is one of the most respected and most efficient operators we have. His abilities more than make up for his coldness. Never think ill of Steel.

Well, that's good to hear. Thank you for sharing, Silver, and have a great day ahead.

Silver: And the same goes for you.

End of interview. Next up... Sapphire!


	3. Chapter 3

Interview with Sapphire

Nice to meet you Sapphire, you are most elegant and gorgeous. Your eyes, your hair, your smile, they are all beautiful.

Sapphire: *takes my hand and laughs silently* Thank you.

Now, we are about to... No, I was about to... Wait... I was going to do something.

Sapphire: Yes.

I can't seem to remember... But... I could have sworn that we had this very conversation before.

Sapphire: Yes, we had.

I asked you to demonstrate your power.

Sapphire: And I did.

You took time back.

Sapphire: That's right.

Oh. But since I forgot everything, do you mind if we start over?

Sapphire: Of course.

Well, it is a pleasure to have you here for an interview. Can you tell me more about your job?

Sapphire: The past, the present, and the future, all of it, are part of a long, continuous corridor, that surrounds and passes through all things, including you. There are forces, creatures, beyond the bounds of time. They break in through weak spots in the corridor, and take things. It is my job to stop whatever happens to this corridor, and make sure that time runs smoothly again. *makes all sorts of hand gestures to illustrate the point*

Most enlightening explanation you have given here, Sapphire! (I don't understand a thing) Now tell me, what other powers do you have, besides being able to take time back?

Sapphire: I have many others. For example, what I have just done on you earlier, a spot analysis.

A what?

Sapphire: I know everything about you. Your name, age, family, occupation, and life expectancy. You will live to approximately s-

NO! DON'T! Don't disclose such private information in front of everyone! And don't you dare-

Sapphire: But there's no one here.

Oh. So I've just realised.

Sapphire: I'm sorry. But you wanted to know about my powers.

Yes, I did ask you about that. But let's move on to a... safer... topic, shall we? Like what clothes you like to wear.

Sapphire: Yes, I like to experiment with different clothes, though many say blue suits me best. What do you think of this dress?

I think it's wonderful. I would very much love to steal it.

Sapphire: I'm sorry?

I mean, I would very much love to know what Steel thinks of it.

Sapphire: Oh, well, Steel always says I should wear something more practical for our job. But he's too serious.

I've heard a lot about Steel, and he seems like a very interesting character. I've yet to meet him though, but I will very soon. What are your thoughts about him?

Sapphire: He always seems too stern for a first timer, but you'll soon get used to him.

And you've known him for...

Sapphire: Quite a long time, yes.

Something tells me you harbour some very deep feelings for him.

Sapphire: Do I?

You certainly look like you do.

Sapphire: *laughs* Only time will tell.

End of interview. And finally... Steel!


	4. Chapter 4

Interview with Steel

Hello, Steel.

Steel: Who are you? Where do you come from?

Steel, you are here for an interview to answer my questions.

Steel: I don't entertain questions.

That's a shame. But still, please sit down. You can have some refreshments. There's hot chocolate, coffee, lemonade, vodka...

Steel: I don't drink.

How can you not drink vodka? You closely resemble that Russian spy I talked to earlier.

Steel: What?

Never mind. I can see that you-

Steel: If you must know, I have a job to do. Is there anything going on around here? Anything strange?

Well, no. Nothing.

Steel: Try to think about where you come from. Think about who you really are. Please try to remember.

Please calm down, Steel. I am merely conducting an interview.

Steel: And I have been sent here to investigate a time anomaly. Your memory has been erased. Time has tampered with your mind.

There is no time anomaly. Your mission is to sit down here, make yourself comfortable, and talk to me.

Steel: I prefer standing, thank you.

That's interesting. Would you kindly share more about yourself and your background?

Steel: No, I'm the one asking the questions here. It's deceiving you. Time is playing tricks with your mind. You have to believe me.

No, Steel, I think you should believe me for once. Maybe you're the one whose mind is being meddled with. Have you considered that possibility?

Steel: No.

Well then, maybe you should. Let's begin, shall we? Here's a very simple question: How are you?

Steel: Very confused.

Thank you for answering, that's a good start. I've heard that your colleagues regard you very highly, and find you one of the most effective operators.

Steel: I am flattered.

Do you mind telling me about the nature of your job?

Steel: I do mind, actually. There are too many of these jobs and not enough of us to work on them. We are given limited to no information and are sent when bad things have already happened.

That sounds like less than satisfactory working conditions. Are you paid well?

Steel: No, we don't get paid.

Now that is unacceptable!

Steel: These things are too difficult for your primitive human mind to comprehend. Are you finished yet?

Actually, no. I wanted to ask you about Sapphire.

Steel: What about her?

What is your relationship with her?

Steel: We are business associates with a perfect working relationship.

Nothing more?

Steel: *pause* No.

Aha! I sensed hesitation!

Steel: Now are you finished?

I still have a lot more questions, but judging from your expression you seem to be in no mood to answer them. I think you could really use some vodka, how about I get you a glass... Here, this is a-

Steel? Where are you?

STEEL?

 

THE END of interviews


End file.
